Don’t let the everyday stress of parenting get you down. These 8 ways to improve your parenting skills are exactly what you need to be that awesome parent you’ve always wanted to be.
Do you wish you had better parenting skills?
You can easily improve your parenting skills!
Every person who dreams about becoming a parent one day thinks they are going to be the best mother or father that they can be.
We all hope to have the greatest parenting skills of anybody. We want to make our children feel loved and build them up for a great life.
But soon after becoming parents, we become people we never thought we would be. We yell and scream at our kid. We lose patience with them. And sometimes we even dream of time away from them.
It doesn’t take much for you to look at your own parenting skills and think… goodness gracious I SUCK at this.
Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. And we all wish we were better parents.
The good news is, it’s REALLY easy to improve your parenting skills.
Ways to Improve your parenting skills
Before my daughter was born, I just KNEW I was going to be a great mom.
I wouldn’t do all the things my parents did that I disliked so much. I would be a fun and kind mom. And I would be patient.
Related Read: 20 Easy Ways to Be a Fun Mom
My daughter and I would be so close, we would be like the Gilmore girls. And I would read to her and show her flashcards to make her brilliant.
But then I became a mom and felt like most days I was happy to just feed her and keep her alive.
The parenting skills I did have were nowhere near the parenting skills I had hoped for.
The good news is that you don’t have to listen to every expert out there on what’s considered the best parenting traits or feel bad that you’re not good enough.
The skills that good parents have are pretty basic and easy to manage. And any one of us can be a better mom or dad with these 8 traits that awesome parents have.
8 traits of a good parent
1 – Be loving
No parenting skill is better than just being LOVING with your children. Your kids won’t care how much money you have or if you lose your cool every once in a while if you are generally loving with them each and every day.
Kids want to be loved. They want to be told they are loved and they want to feel like they are loved.
How often do you show your child affection?
And I don’t mean just telling them you love them. Kids assume you love them. That’s what parents are supposed to do. But what they need is to really feel it.
Tell your kid you love them several times each day, even if they get annoyed with it. Stop and give them random hugs. Look in their eyes, stroke their hair, or give them a little back rub.
Take time each and every day to just love on them. The more they feel that love from you, the more they trust you, and the more they will respond to your needs too.
2 – Being patient and calm
It isn’t a big shocker that screaming at your kids all the time is NOT a good parenting skill. But it can be oh so very very hard to stay calm and be patient when it seems like your kids are just constantly pushing your buttons.
Raising your voice at your children does not make them listen. And most parents know this.
The only reason parents scream at their kids is because it’s just built up so much inside that it ends up coming out in an angry way. But there are other ways you can release that steam and not aim it at your kids.
Here are a few ideas to help keep you calm:
- Take deep breaths
- Walk away
- Punch a pillow
- Scream at them inside your head
- learn to mediate
3 – Use positive parenting
Find ways to praise your kid’s positive behavior more than disciplining them for their negative behavior.
Think of it this way… do most of your really close friends constantly tear you down at everything you do wrong in life? If I had friends like that, we wouldn’t be friends for much longer!
We all want people in our lives who are going to build us up when we make mistakes and celebrate our wins.
Kids are no different.
If you really want to improve your parenting skills, then concentrate on learning how to use positive discipline and positive parenting techniques.
4 – Be their safe haven
To really be a kick-ass parent, you also need to be their safe haven. You need to be the person they can go to about anything.
This includes mistakes and messes as toddlers, to really screwing up as a teenager.
Kids need a safe place to go, both physically and emotionally. If you become that safe haven that they always need, they will always come back to you.
So when they face the demands of outside life, of school, of friends, or anything tempting them in the wrong direction, YOU need to be the one they turn to when in need.
If you can be a safe haven for your child, you create a more confident kid that turns into a more confident adult.
Giving kids a sense of security at home, helps them to go on to have healthier relationships as adults.
5 – Communicating
Communicating is the key to everything. Every relationship needs good communication skills. Whether it’s a personal relationship, a family one, or even a business relationship.
Your relationship with your kids is no different.
Learning how to communicate with them is what will set you apart from a mediocre parent to a great parent.
Keep in mind that communicating is not just you telling them the rules and expecting them to listen. True communicating is give and take. You can communicate with them but be fully prepared to let them communicate back.
So if your kid is having a bad day and needs a good cry, let them do it. If they need to yell
(just not at you) to get some emotion out, then let them. If they want to go on and on about what happened with their friend at school today, LET THEM!
Great communication between parents and children is often learning what your kid needs specifically. It’s also about learning how to not always assume they are “just a kid” and keep things away from them.
I’ve seen parents not discuss big events like moving or even big vacations with their kids because they think they just won’t get it. But even if you think they are too young to understand, it’s the communication you’re teaching them.
So learn to open up to your kids and talk to them.
6 – Listening
Listening is just as important as parenting skills as communicating. Communicating is pointless if we don’t stop and actually listen to our kids too.
When my daughter gets off of school each day, she talks about what kid she had an issue with during recess. And most days I would try to help her figure out WHY she was having issues and how to fix it.
But it made things worse and we would end up fighting and angry at each other.
All because I wasn’t really LISTENING To her.
She wasn’t looking for advice. She was just looking for someone to vent to. Much like I do with most of my adult friends!
So I tried a different approach.
The next time she got into my car after school and started complaining about her day… I simply said “That must be so frustrating. I’m sorry that happened to you. Is there anything I can do for you?”
What a world of difference that made!
Instead of fighting with her, she would just shrug her shoulders and say it really wasn’t a big deal and then ask me about my day. That’s right… she would ask me about MY DAY!
Because she was finally being HEARD. I listened to her. And once she felt heard, she was good!
7 – Be authentic and Honest
Just like anyone in your life, you will have a hard time forming an attachment if you think that someone is being dishonest with you.
Kids are the same, Yo!
Sometimes being honest with our kids can be really tough. Like when my daughter asks how much money I make at work or why her Dad and I split up.
And even though she is too young to know some things or too young to understand, it does not mean that I should lie to her about them.
Because if I start to lie to her about anything, she is going to have a hard time trusting me. And how is she ever going to communicate with me, or come to me as her safe haven… if she can’t even trust me?
8 – Help them build their confidence
Building a child’s confidence leads to nothing but greatness.
It helps them build strong, healthy relationships as they get older.
It helps them take chances and try new things. And it often leads to more success in the future.
A powerful way to improve your parenting skills is to learn how to raise confident kids.
Not sure how to build their confidence? Check out this list of 12 Tips for Raising Strong and Confident Kids
Building kids confidence also means building their self-esteem and setting them up in a good place to tackle anything that comes their way in the future.
8 Ways to Drastically improve your parenting skills
The best news is… you don’t need to be a parenting expert. And you don’t need to have a ton of money or be a stay at home mom to be an amazing parent.
Your child will love you regardless of your excellence or your flaws.
But you can find ways to improve your parenting skills to raise happy and healthy children. And the effect of this can lead to less stress for you and your whole family.
So don’t give up hope yet! Becoming a great parent isn’t as hard as you think!
And don’t forget to follow my Parenting PINTEREST boards for more great tips on bonding with your kids and effective discipline tools for a happier home!
You might also be interested in:
- Why Discipline Works Better Than Punishment
- Easy Tips on How to Be a Better Parent
- Magic Steps to Calming Any Child’s Temper Tantrum
- How to Discipline a Child Without Yelling
- How to Get Your Child to Stop BackTalking