Getting over mom guilt can often be the hardest part of parenting. Here are some real-life ways to move past mom guilt.
Getting Over Mom Guilt
We all knew we would have less time for ourselves and be exhausted when we became parents. But we never fully anticipated the amount of Mom Guilt we would have.
Or maybe you just thought “Mom guilt, yeah I’ve heard of it. I get it.”
And then you became mom and and all of a sudden it hits you like a ton of bricks. The mom guilt!
Even as I am writing this, my 11-year-old daughter is in the next room working on her school work (it’s still quarantine around here) and she’s trying to ask me questions every few minutes.
And while I’m trying to let her be independent and work through it on her own, my mom guilt is overwhelming and I’m finding it hard to concentrate on my work.
Because every second I don’t run to her, I’m letting her down. Right?
Why Do We Have Mom Guilt?
The down and dirty answer to this is because we care too much.
No seriously. The fact that you even question yourself over and over again is because you simply care about your kids so much, you want to be the best mom possible.
And while that’s super sweet, it also puts a lot of pressure on us as parents too.
I’m a single mom. And for my daughters entire life, I keep thinking that she is going to end up on Jerry Springer. Because all those odd, messed up people are probably from single moms and have daddy issues.
Mom guilt often manifests from irrational fears we have.
“If I give my daughter too much independence, she’ll get kidnapped.” But if I become a helicopter parent and hover over her, she’ll grow up with no life skills (and probably get kidnapped).
Completely irrational, amiright?!?!
But don’t worry. You don’t need to spend the next 18 years worrying if you are a good mom or not, or if you are messing up your kids. There are some easy ways you can get rid of that mom guilt once and for all.
Simple Ways To Get Over Mom Guilt For Good!
1 – Recognize the reasons
Why exactly do you think you have mom guilt? Is there an area of parenting where you feel like you are failing at?
Maybe you worry about their nutrition because you hate vegetables yourself. Or you order too much take out because you work a lot.
Or heck, maybe you feel you work too much and you dont spend enough time with your kids.
Whatever the reason, start by pinpointing the reasons you think you suffer from mom guilt. And once you do, you can start to work on those specific issues before you get overwhelmed and feel like a failure in every aspect of parenting.
2 – Learn how to set realistic goals
I started worrying about getting my daughter into an Ivy League school before she even turned 1. If I wasn’t doing constant flashcards, I was a failure. If she wasnt a miracel child who read full words by 9 months old… I was a fialure.
The older she got, the more I realized I just wanted her to be a good person and not some genius. But it took me a long time to realize thatI was setting unrealistic expectations for her and for myself as a mom.
Once you’ve recognized the reasons you feel mom guilt, start to take a serious look at what are unrealistic expectations and what are some things you can change.
If you feel like you don’t spend enough time with your kids, is it because you spend too much of your time scrolling through Instagram? Or is it because you are working and trying to provide a good life for your family?
3 – Deal with it and move on
Sorry if I sound too harsh! But in reality, most of your mom guilt is manifested by you and lingers because of you.
So the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to move on from it. Take that mom guilt and throw it out the door!
Try starting your morning with some positive affirmations like this:
“I am a good mom. I love my kids and they know that. I do the best I can each and every day. Doing my best is good enough for them and for me.”
Give yourself the ability to move past the mom guilt, even if it means seeking professional help.
4 – Learn how to forgive yourself
The fact that you are even reading this article shows you how much you care about being the best mom you can be.
Just remember, your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They don’t need you to be skinny and gorgeous or make a ton of money. They just need you to be present in their lives, loving, and reliable.
Forgive yourself for everything you THINK you’ve done wrong.
5 – Ignore others
A lot of times it’s other people who make us feel mom guilt. When I was having a tough time with my srong-willed child, I asked a friend for advice. Her comment “Gee, I dont know. My daughter doesnt have that problem. you’re definilty doing something wrong.”
I cried myself to sleep that night.
Well then she had a son who was also strong-willed and wouldnt you know… she needed my help.
My biggest mistake was listening to another mom. She had very different children and a very different lifestyle than me. Why on earth would I assume she knew better?
Stop listening to other moms!
Got more tips on how to get rid of mom guilt? Leave them in the comments below!
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