Having kids with high self-esteem can mean having kids who can deal with peer pressure and bullying. Building self-esteem in kids can be crucial to their future happiness and success.
Help Children Develop Their Self-Esteem
Having low self-esteem can have a significant effect on kids. Not only when they are kids, but when they become adults too. Building self-esteem in kids can be one of the most important things you do for them.
Self-esteem is not all about thinking you are pretty or not, or good at sports. Creating high self-esteem in kids can be tricky but can lead to some pretty amazing characteristcs.
And the key to nurturing and growing your kids self-esteem starts with you.
No pressure, right?
Why is building self-esteem in kids so important?
Building self-esteem in kids can have more of an impact than we think. Here are some qualities of kids with high self-esteem:
- They respect themselves and others
- Not afraid of rejection
- Stand up for themselves
- Are more responsible
- Tell less lies and are more honest
- Less likely to end up in bad friendships
Further more, kids who have high self-esteem are more likely to develop better relationships and less likely to enter bad relationships when they are older.
Wouldn’t that be great? Knowing your kid will have such high esteem that they won’t let anyone treat them badly or take advantage of them when they get older?
As adults, they are more likely to be successful and happier. In notably their relationships but in their careers and financially too.
Kind of crazy a little self-esteem can do all that, huh?
So now you’re probably asking… “Ok, sounds great, but HOW does my kid get higher self-esteem?”
The good news? All it takes is how you raise them!
The bad news? It’s all on you.
But don’t panic! It’s actually pretty simple. There are some really easy things you can do that will ensure your child grows up having high self-esteem. And they are all simple, actionable things you can do in your everyday life.
Positive Parenting Challenge
Before we get started on building self-esteem in your kids, let’s briefly talk about what your current situation is with your kids. If things are tense and there is a lot of fighting going on, I highly recommend you taking this 5-day Positive Parenting Challenge to get you and your family on the right track.
In five days, you’ll get tips on how to reduce fighting and back talking in your kids, learn how to handle situations and stay calm, and even get better behaving kids.
Check out this free course by signing up here.
10 Powerful Ways to Boost Self-Esteem in You Kids
Kids with low self-esteem feel unloved and unwanted. So how do you combat that? Simple. Raise self-esteem with love and compassion. And here’s how to do it.
1 – Make Them Feel Loved
Easy enough, right? Not always. It’s easy to feel like we love our kids and we assume they know that. But do they?
Take a few minutes to really think about how you show someone you love them. And what makes you feel loved. And now ask yourself, are you doing those things for your kids?
Remember that kid have a love language too. So different things can show love to different kids. Some kids may need more physical affection. Others may need more praise.
Feeling loved makes us feel good about ourselves. And when we feel good about ourselves, we have much higher self-esteem.
2 – Show Them Respect
Son’t ever call your child names or belittle them. Even if you think they are being lazy or acting like a brat. When we accuse them of bad behaviors, they take it to heart and think you are talking about them specifically, not the behavior.
Even when they have their absolute worst behavior, take a step away and a deep calming breathe before you talk to them again. Any negativity on your part (even when it’s deserved!) can breed negativity on their part.
See Related: How To Be a More Calm Mom
3 – Spend Time Together
Nothing makes kids feel more loved and wanted than just simply spending time together. By spending more time with our kids, we are showing them that they are more important than anything in our lives.
They are more important than our phones, the TV, the laundry, the cleaning. Everything that seems so trivial to us, can be much bigger to kids.
Spending time with them makes them feel like they are our number one priority. And that is key to boosting your kid’s confidence and self-esteem.
Even if you only have a few minutes, try adding in some quality time with your kids. My daughter loves it when I stay in her room while she gets dressed in the morning. She’s 11 years old. She doesn’t need my help in getting dressed. Heck, she won’t even listen to my opinion on what outfit she should wear.
But having me sit in her room and just talk to her while she’s doing her morning routine, means everything to her.
Nighttime is a great time too. Instead of just telling them to go get ready for bed, go with them!
Related Read: Easy Ways to Bond with Your Child
4 – Set Appropriate Goals
Kids will increase their self-esteem and confidence if you set actionable goals they can actually achieve. Setting them up for failure is the worse thing you can do.
Even if it is small tasks and small steps. The fact that they can accomplish something on their own, will work wonders on their confidence.
They will increase their levels of competency and help with building self-esteem with goals they are capable of accomplishing.
5 – Let Them Make Choices
Letting someone make their own choices gives them a sense of empowerment. By letting kids make some of their own choices, you are acknowledging the fact that you trust them and trust their judgment.
Even if it comes to simple things like we should have for dinner. Or what chores she wants to tackle this weekend, I’ll throw a few decision making choices at my daughter and let her choose.
Notice I don’t allow her to choose if she does chores or not. I give her a choice on what chores to do. So stuff still gets done, but she has that empowerment of making the choice herself.
Being given a chance to make choices when they are young, will lead them to more self-confidence to make choices in their future. Including more difficult choices later on.
6 – Let Them Take Healthy Risks
It’s very easy to want to throw all of our knowledge on our children so they will learn things the right way and not make unnecessary mistakes. But that’s not healthy for them.
Kids need to be able to take risks. Even if it means they don’t succeed at them all the time. They need to learn how to get back up, brush themselves off, and try again.
Even when it seems like it’s faster and easier for us to do things for them, we are taking away their ability to make a choice and learn from it.
And the more healthy risks they can take and succeed at, will lead to them being more confident in their ability to tackle tougher risks in their future.
7 – Use Mistakes As a Learning Experience
A POSITIVE learning experience.
You gave them a choice, you let them take a risk… and they failed. It’s OK! For you and for them.
Failing is a part of life. Every mistake made is a learning experience to do it differently the next time.
As long as you are using their mistakes to positively encourage them. Tell them how proud you are that they took the risk. Explain to them its ok to fail sometimes. And discuss what they can do different the next time.
When building self-esteem, don’t ever ever ever use their mistakes to yell at them or scold them or call them names.
8 – Don’t Use Harsh Criticism
Children’s brains are made to do what they need to do to get attention. So if you are using harsh criticism or negative talk towards them, that’s what they will learn to respond to and what they will seek out.
Learn how to use positive parenting. It’s about focusing on the good behavior and using praise and encouragement to get them to behave in a more positive way to get your attention.
9 – Use Praise Often
Seek out times when you can praise something they do. Even when it’s a normal every day task. The more your child is encouraged and praised for things, the more they will seek out that positive behavior.
Even if they attempt a task and don’t do well with it, applaud them for trying.
The more praise a kid gets, the higher their confidence becomes. And the more their self-esteem will raise. Nothing feels better than being told you are good at something. Especially from the ones you love the most.
Even as adults, aren’t we always seeking our parents approval and feel really good about ourselves when we get it?
Just make sure its sincere. Kids are smart enough to sense when something is not sincere.
10 – Be a Good Role Model
Money see monkey do. Its no surprise that kids mimic our behaviors. So if you are exhibiting high self-esteem about yourself, how do you expect your kids to?
You can’t raise body confident girls if you are constantly berating yourself for being fat. And you’ll have a hard time building self-esteem in kids if you don’t have confidence in yourself. And that includes your confidence in your own parenting!
The absolute best thing you can do to increase your Childs self-esteem and boost their confidence is having your own confidence too!
Do I need to repeat myself? I hope not!
Be a good role model for your kids and the way you live your life is the way they will live theirs.
You Might Also Be Interested In:
- How To Discipline a Child Without Yelling
- Raise Happier Kids By Creating a More Positive Home
- 12 Tips For Raising More Confident Kids
- Skills your Daughter Should Know Before She Becomes And Adult
- 20 Easy Ways To Be a More Fun Mom
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